Everyone says there is no free lunch. YES THERE IS! FUKU! |
I give away 10x free lunch/day!
Fill in my form below to apply FUKU noodles!
NOODLE SONG!!
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This is damn advert for Ling's van leasing and contract hire page |
Every web visitor... ...can apply for delicious out-of-date collectors item FUKU brand noodles. Free lunch now includes out of date Chinese Nescafe sachet (some with extra hydrogenated fat) and sugar-based CHEMICAL pudding. Free chopsticks!
FREE! Genuine rainforest bamboo chopsticks!
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There is some DANGER to small children if they choke on dried plum stone or poke eye with chopsticks, this is unfortunate. Dried plum can also cause BIG SHIT!
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Note FUKU noodle may be OUT OF DATE. This is due to it being a NOVELTY COLLECTOR ITEM! Do not go complaining to Trading Standards or I will label you a pig-headed capitalist-roader and you will be subject to my substantial penalties.
Mr Mao recommends Ling's FUKU noodles. "Mmmmmmm, you're lovin' it!"
Noodles do NOT look like this!
...OR like this!
...OR like this! |
Grabbing Bastards from Magic Freebies
Due to the fact that thousands of grabbing bastards from Magic Freebies are requesting Free Lunch from me, I am getting pretty hacked off by these takers who give nothing back to society and just want to scam loads of free stuff. They are not exactly in need like Japanese Tsunami victims, Magic Freebies grabbers are mainly benefit cheats and gift-suckers.
I offer free lunch of out-of-date dead chicken FUKU noodles for normal visitors, not for professional freebie scrapers who seem live on nothing but what they can grab for free, from others.
Free Noodles are withdrawn from the grabbing bastards, and are only available to normal visitors who arrive through natural visits. I am pleased to support normal ethical visitors. - LING
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FUKU NOODLES LOOK MORE LIKE THIS!
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As soon as you fill in the details above (for 10 visitors per day) your noodles and pudding may be in post! No need to wait 21 days for delivery! If the British Post Office government monopoly Peter Mandelson sell-off works OK, you will have free lunch next day! - You have free lunch, now rent cheap car!
If you are lucky, you get dried plum pud! DANGER! causes big shit!
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You should seek truth from facts. Three sayings which match my philosophy are;
"It does not matter if a car is black or white as long as it gets you to the shops" - Deng Xiao Ping
"People of Britain, you can trust me" - Tony Blair
"I am Chinese not Catholic: I cannot do miracles" - Ling
Long Live Ling - Ling
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Online Service Response Times
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Quote > Proposal > Order > Delivery
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90 CLIENTS IN 'PROPOSAL'
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...LING REPLIES IN:
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HRS : MINUTES sec
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61 CLIENTS IN 'ORDER'
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...LING REPLIES IN:
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HRS : MINUTES sec
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Customers use my secure LINGO management system.
Response times
above based on last 4 hour period between 9am - 6pm, Mon to Fri
-Ling
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No Waiting
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I am the Viz UK business ambassador! Post me Ferrero-Rochers! Yum Yum!
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Unlike most other internet car leasing sites, I publish all my contact information openly! ...so, you know who I am - Ling
THE UK's FAVOURITE CAR LEASING WEBSITE!
Boss: Ling Valentine MSc IoD LING World Headquarters Vance Business Park Gateshead, NE11 9NE Tel 0191 460 9444 Fax 0870 486 1130
sales@LINGsCARS.com I prefer email to phone - Ling
VAT No: 866 0241 30 Co Reg No: 6178634 Consumer Credit Licence: 663330 Data Protection No: Z1098490 Best Before: 17/08/2007
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Latest BBC NEWS from LING in CHINGLISH!
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1.5 E-Power 204bhp
5dr
hybrid,
auto,
met
X-Trail St
£344.40
per month, inc VAT
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1.5 BlueHDi 120bhp
-3dr
diesel,
manual,
met
Expert L1
£342.00
per month, inc VAT
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1.6 E-Tech ... 142bhp
5dr
hybrid,
auto,
non-met
Symbioz (2
£264.37
per month, inc VAT
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2.0 TFSI 150bhp
4dr
petrol,
auto,
met
A5 Saloon
£498.90
per month, inc VAT
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125kW bhp
5dr
electric,
auto,
met
ID.3 Hatch
£261.42
per month, inc VAT
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...don't do lease cars, but if they did, they would be done like this - Ling
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...get a FREE BADGE! Collectors item - FREE! APPLY NOW!
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...get a FREE BADGE! Collectors item - FREE! APPLY NOW!
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Click to see my LIVE lease car customers! - Ling
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Get my latest EMAIL car updates!
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PLAY BOTTOM TRUMPS!
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EXTRA CHEAP CARS HERE See 30 cheapest cars!
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My Nuclear Missile Truck
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